Sometimes I Forget Who I Am

What's my name? BELOVED. There will be days when I am all too aware of my shortcomings - where I will be desperate to be free of shame, false guilt, the fear of man, and the cruel and hard beatings I place on myself for what I should have said, what I didn't say, what I meant to do, what I didn't - you know ... Days like today. These are the days I shall remember I am chosen; that I am given grace for grace-that the Lord is so much better than I think He is ... that I am "beloved". That is, after all, what the "Amy" portion of my name means. "Lynn" means water or "from the lake". Yes, indeed, knowing and believing I am loved, I shall abide in living water. And when the events of the day scorch my spirit, I shall dig deeper in surety, knowing I will find a stream in the desert. I don't need to be consistently perfect. I don't need to fix a situation or heal every hurt or save the world. I'm pretty sure someone took care of all that already. Maybe I just need to be a little girl. More dependent. Ready to share my bubus and owies and ask for healing. Today, I will believe my name is my Father's favorite name to whisper. I will believe that He adores me and celebrates my simple company. So I will sit. Here. Today. I will be loved. I will be forgiven. I will be grace-filled. I will be heard. I will be loved. I will be all He knows I am. And that will be enough. Today.

Note to Self ...

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize
it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call.....

He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, in dawn's early light...

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love...

You need to look at the bigger picture.....

A day without the Lord- Is a day wasted.

So get into the word and meditate on scripture!

Where Did the Time Go?

I thought I could blog every day...or nearly. But. I can't hold time and I couldn't keep up. What a busy month April was!

April came and went after Abigael made some progress developmentally, completion of physical therapy, downsizing at work (thank God my name was taken OFF the list!), and a two week stretch ailments of one sort or another my little Abigael had to fight off.

I did get ONE night out on the town and it was an absolute riot. Anita Renfroe has inspired me to laugh.

I was greatly encouraged and I celebrated (a bit prematurely) a "pregnancy"...thought my baby had a doctor and a hospital...turns out that the "baby" is there...but a heartbeat can't be detected. There is still hope...

Abigael is cutting her two front teeth. They feel like razor blades coming through her gums. Poor girl. She's such a trooper. She has daily breathing treatments twice and every three hours when she is sick. We learned she has extreme allergies as well - NO CATS! Abigael is very scared of dogs...we're working on that! She officially started crawling on April 22, two days before her 10 month birthday. Like her mama, she was motivated by food.

Noam moved up one class in daycare - officially considered "pre-school". He's been several months diaper free even through the night. He's had a difficult month with a sudden new interest in the male figure known as "daddy". He talks often of this person and cries out often for him...or stands at the front window waiting for him to appear. That said, he wants Abigael's doctor to be his daddy - he even offered him the job. When the kind doctor declined, Noam offered him my credit card.

Tomorrow I speak in front of over 100 at my church - sharing the story of Abigael and how the Lord revealed his glory through a trial. Remember...you can't stand on promises if you don't know what they are!

(I'm sure you know Abigael's story by now, but if you don't - let me know or come to the Mother Daughter banquet tomorrow night!)`